Which X-Men Are You? (According To Your Fitness)

Find out which X-Men are you according to how you workout.
Co-Written & Edited by Darren Lee

According to non-existent research, one can clearly identify the similarities between fitness types and certain members of the X-Men. Albeit comical, this unsubstantiated correlation has shown to help athletes put themselves in the “zone” (within the Marvel Universe of course). So here is the non-scientific correlation to help you find out which X-Man matches your fitness type:


If lifting is the only thing you do at the gym, you are Colossus. For you, the heavier the weight, the better. You use the force of gravity to build a lean, rock…metal-solid body. You scoff at cardio with a thick Russian accent. And if you ever get into a drunken bar fight with a Deadpool type (see below), jokes on them – they’re the ones who will feel the pain.


Into high-octane anaerobic exercises? Then Quicksilver you are. Most of your workout consists of sprints at breakneck speed (or so you think), allowing you to dash so fast you become a blur of bravado and hyperventilation.


I left my protein at home, NOOOOooooo!

I left my protein at home, NOOOOooooo!

You’re a screamer. Your Sharapova-like antics at the gym draw more attention than Sharapova in a bikini. But you, sir, block out every notion of shame with grunts so loud it literally kills the ambience of the gym. Every time you workout, you either spur people on, or scare the living crap out of the elderly.


If you like punishing yourself at the gym, you are Wolverine (and you may need to see a shrink).  You push yourself to puke-level-limits and yet your ability to recover and bounce back is scary fast, like steroid scary fast.


Last thing you see before you smother to death in a big, blue furry testicles.

Last thing you see before you smother to death in big, blue furry testicles.

If you’re into calisthenic exercises, you are Beast. Like the blue circus chimp, you jump, bend, and swing around using your body weight as resistance. You are both acrobatic and muscular, giving you a good balance of athletic prowess and potential cirque-du-soleil employment.


Oh no he did-ent just lift more than me!

Never at the gym without a buddy? Congrats, you are Rogue. Without a buddy, you lose all sense of motivation. But when you’re with your buddy, you go all out, trying to one-up them.


If circuit training is your thing, then Nightcrawler is your nickname. You teleport from one machine to another like you’re in a rush to get the hell outta there. Maybe because of Banshee.

Professor Xavier

If the only thing you’re into is sitting in your underwear all day doing neurobic exercises, you are Professor Charles Xavier. You barely care for your muscles, let alone your appearance, so naturally you look like a pale, bald, telepathic paraplegic.


I'm angry because I don't know who I am anymore!

I’m angry because I don’t know who I am!

This obscure X-Men character is for those who love triathlons and other multi endurance sports.  You swim, hike, run, and bike away every embarrassing childhood memory out of you. Just to “feel alive”.


When your main objective of going to the gym is to be on your phone while others wait till you finish texting so they could use the damn bench press, then you’re no other than the jerk, I mean, merc with the mouth – Deadpool.

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