The Dumbest Fitness Equipment Ever Made

Some will make you laugh. Some will confuse you. None will help your fitness.

The problem with invention is that any idiot can do it. There isn’t a law where only smart people are allowed to bring good ideas to fruition. And there should be. The fitness equipment industry is riddled with some ludicrous stuff.  Some products out there were blatantly created to target desperados looking for an easy way out, only to be fed with more bullsh!t. These were either made by really stupid people, or made for really stupid people. Here are some of the worst from the underbelly of the fitness product industry:

 The Peddler

fitness equipment

“An exercise device for facilitating blood circulation in the lower extremities of a person’s legs and feet” touts The Peddler’s website. Oh by just moving your feet up and down? How bout you just get up and walk! Pretty sure the floor covers the “lower extremities” of your feet. And the fcking thing looks cheap as hell. I mean come on, it just looks like a piece that broke off a kids toy.


So the idea here is that you run on this treadmill on wheels and it takes round the block. Wait, let me get this straight – I have to run on this thing to bring me around? Why don’t I just fcking run by myself!? My own two feet can take me pretty far, thank you. A treadmill is supposed to simulate running outdoors so that you can do it indoors!

Face Trainer

What do you aim to achieve here exactly? A swollen, muscular face? I actually want to meet the dummy who created this, make him put it on, and punch him in his stupid face.

Velcro Jogger

This looks like a collectible. A comedy collectible. It clearly doesn’t work, I can bet my left nut that the shoe will slip out of your foot the moment you speed up. Listen, Velcro was invented to keep things in place. This was invented purely for a laugh.

The Original Ab Machine

Nice gym wear, bro.

Nice gym wear, bro.

Ok, let’s take it way back to the mac daddy who pioneered resistance training and a bunch of other fitness machines – Gustav Zander. Many of his early inventions are the backbone of today’s gym equipment, but not this one. Zander’s theory was simple – you can build ab muscles by slamming leather disks onto them. What? No, Zander, that just hurts you.

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